Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
