I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
