When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
