Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
