I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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