I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
