Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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