Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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