Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
