tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
