just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
