if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
