he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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