i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize