there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
