im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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