it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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