When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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