Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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