He passed out mid-signature
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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