Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
