"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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