Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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