Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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