Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you didnt know i had herpes?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
