these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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