my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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