next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
