is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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