I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Randomize
