I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
