My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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