Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
