i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
