I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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