My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
