If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
