Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
