She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
