Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
