Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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