I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
