At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
