i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
People in love make me want to vomit
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
