we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just want nice things and good sex
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
