is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
