I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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