it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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