i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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