I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
